Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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