I wish I could punch you in the face.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
