I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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