Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
My balls are so social today.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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