Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
