I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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