they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
