Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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