i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
