shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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