fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
