420 ftw
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
