so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
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