You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
