Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
