Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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