he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
