bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
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I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
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You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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