Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
