Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
