Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize