Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
