Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
