Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
