she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
