fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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