What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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