Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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