I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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