I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
