You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
