Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
