So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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