guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
