Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
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I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize