what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
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