I like my sex mixed with concussions.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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