She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
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If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
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And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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