There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
