ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
