nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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