It's Friday. Sex?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
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