Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
