so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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