Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
tonight lets celebrate not being married
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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