Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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