I'm drive I can fine osifer
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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