i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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