can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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