As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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