Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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