i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize