wat bout pragnant strippers??
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
