we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
