There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Randomize
