Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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