so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Vodka?
Forever.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
