I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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