the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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