That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
