I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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