4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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