I'm really into asian looking animals
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
