party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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