She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Redeem this text for a blowjob
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records