she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
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My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
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Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.