My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN