She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
