Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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