If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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